May 4, 2016

The Case for Dating Someone's Potential - The Single Girl Diaries

I have heard it said that you shouldn't date someone with potential. Rather, you should date someone already walking in their potential. To that statement I say yes....and no.

Yes, to the fact that you cannot date someone with the mentality that you can "fix" them. Been there, tried to do that. Failed...and only realized that I was the one who needed fixing. You don't date someone hoping and believing that they will one day be the man you would love to be married to when they are showing absolutely no signs of progression in that way.

And then to that first statement, I also say No. No because I also believe that you do partially date someone's potential. When you date, you date them for who they are now and with the idea of where they are going.

Let me explain.

When I chose to go out with a guy, I am saying yes to the guy in front of me. Sure, he has some rough edges. Sure, he has some work to do, but I can say yes to him today because I see the work he is putting in to become the man of God he and God desire for him to be tomorrow. Therefore, I am saying yes to helping draw that out of him - not by force and "you should" or "don't do that" comments, but by respecting, honoring and being his personal cheerleader.

We can't date a twenty-five year old Christian male and expect him to have the character, actions, and mindsets of the men we admire within the Body of Christ who are fifty-five. Those fifty-five year old men didn't look like themselves at twenty-five! It is a process. God is a God of process.

So while we don't date guys because we think we can fix them and we DO date date guys based on their potential. Guys who are actively pursuing their potential by being in church, surrounding themselves with the right friends, staying connected to Church and the Word, and pursing Christ more than he pursues you.

So why not, why not say yes to the guy that has untapped potential. Who knows you could be the cheerleader that shines that piece of coal until it shines like a diamond.
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May 2, 2016

Uncommon - Verse of the Week

One of the girls I live with is South African, and to give you a visual reference she looks similar to Disney's Rapunzel. 
"You're so American!" 
She tells me this all the time - whether it be because of what I am wearing, a quirk that I have, or a story that I have told her. To her, I lived what the American movies portrayed as the "common" American life - I grew up in a small town, I was a cheerleader in high school and dated a football player, I did pageants for years, and I was a teacher. To most of you reading this, this isn't anything out of the ordinary. For her so much of what I just described was uncommon and out of the normal - because it wasn't the culture she grew up in.
Uncommon:: out of the ordinary; unusual
As a Christian I have always struggled with the whole idea of being common. You know, this idea of being in the world, but not of the world. We are meant to stand out, but blend in. We are meant to create change, but we are meant to be peaceful. 
When you become a Christian, in essence, you choose a new culture. You choose Kingdom culture over family culture, national culture, or world culture. You are meant to be different. We are meant to be uncommon. Yet, we don't want to be one of the super "spiro" people who are "so heavenly minded they are no earthly good," right?
Since becoming a Christian, this has always been one of my internal struggles - a struggle of what Kingdom culture looks like inside this world. 

Friday, I decided I am done toeing the line. I am done being politically correct. And, I am done worrying about offending people. I am done not praying for people's healing with them because I don't know how they will receive it. I am done not inviting someone to church because it might make them uncomfortable. I am done not being vocal about what I believe when it might cause offense. I am just done. 
There are a few radicals {:in the bad sense of the word:} that take an idea like this and run with it as an excuse to Bible bash people. Sadly, most of us take it the other way {:not pointing a finger anywhere except myself:}. We use it as an excuse to cower behind a rock about our Christianity and in turn choose world culture as our dominate culture and Kingdom Culture as secondary and only when it doesn't bump up against the rules of our first culture.
Kingdom culture is the culture I am choosing, and I am going to need Holy Spirit to do it. I am choosing to speak up when it is easier to be silent. I am choosing to pray for injustice when it seems a prayer isn't enough. I am choosing to step out in faith and pray for healing and then step back and watch the possibility of a miracle unfold. 
If there was a physical person attacking my friends or family you better be sure that this girl would go "backwoods West Virginia hood rat" on them. Now, I have just decided that the same goes for my friends and family in the spiritual world. 
What culture do you live in?
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