February 25, 2012

You might be a kindergarten teacher if...

There are often moments in my day or over my years that Isimply have to shake my head and tell myself “You are a kindergarten teacher.”Here are a few of those moments….  

©      The other day I was brushing my hair after workso that I could recurl it to head out for the night.  
As I was brushing there seemed to be somethingin my hair. Upon further investigation I found it to be the goldmine that oneof my lovely five year olds found on their mission of “digging for gold.” Gee,thanks for sharing your plunder I suppose.

©      There are some things that they do not teach youin college in your preparations to become a teacher….One of those things arethe many names that students have for their, um, well, private parts.  Here was my conversation on that day when I learnedthat if it is even a possible name for him or her don’t ask and abort allconversations!!

Student: (outside the bathroom) “MissMiller, my winker won’t let me go.”
                       Me: “Honey, I don’t know what you aretrying to tell me and I don’t know 
what a winker is.”
To which my students quickly responded witha shrill “SEE!”
 Insert face of complete shock and horror here!
Oh my my my, lesson learned.

©      The same student as above was turned around oneday in line as we were on our way to gym class. 
He was not just turned aroundbut he had his hands on the face of the girl behind him.

Me: Sean, what are you doing! (This is inmy oh my goodness what is he doing voice)
Sean: What Miss Miller? I was only going tosexy kiss her. (In his matter of fact voice)
                 Me: We don’t kiss and we definitely don’t sexykiss!

Needless to say they did not stand in linenext to each other.

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