Y'all I am just beside myself today. I am so excited to introduce you to a new blogger, Erica, that I have just fallen in love with! She is wise beyond her years and I just couldn't help but ask her to do a single girl diaries post. I read this post last Tuesday and wanted to post it early because it is so dead on for what I think we all need to hear. This is a MUST read, and after you do read, be sure to pop over to her blog, Erica Ashley, and show her some love!
Hello everyone! I am so excited to be writing a guest post on my all time favorite read! The Single Girl Diaries!
My post today is dedicated to all of those insecurities. You know, the ones in the back of our minds that tell us everything that is wrong with us. The ones that tell us there are no good guys out there because they are all taken. Or how about the ones that tell us no matter what life throws at us, a GREAT relationship will never be one of them. The ones that tell we must just pick the next thing that comes our way and go with it before its to late!
Well let me tell you something. Those are all LIES! These lies are formed by our own perception of ourselves, others, and what we think we deserve. Past experiences may have formed these lies. Or the media. Old relationships are a great contributor to these. Rejection? Oh yeah, that is the root to these lies. And until recently I was a believer to all of them.
I believed the reason I was single is because I was cursed. I wasn't tall enough, my hair was to frizzy, I wasn't a size 2, I wasn't girly enough, I didn't spend 3 hours of my day in gym, or thousands of dollars on my wardrobe, my eyebrows didn't get waxed on a consistent basis, and yes my room was a little messy. I had the single curse. And my past relationships didn't help.
The guys I dated didn't try to rid these insecurities or help me fight through them, they fed them. The ex's mentioned how we should start working out together, or how it would be nice if my bed was made, or that they would like "more guy time" and instead of watching sports with me and that I should be out shopping. (your probably thinking, why did you EVER date them?)
You know what I would tell my friends if they were ever dating someone like that? Run. Run fast. These guys are not worth your time. It's funny because how many of us have been in the situation where we can tell our friends, "hey, he is a LOSER," or "He does not treat you right," but we struggle with taking our own advice? I use to fall into this trap all the time!
But let me reassure you that there is no single curse! In fact being single is the best time to rid your insecurities. Don't rely on a man to do it for you!
Have you ever seen the movie Pitch Perfect? Well there is a line in there that says "We accept the love we think we deserve." That is the truest statement I have ever heard. Because the guys in my past showed me the love I thought I was deserving. There was no way they loved me for me, simply because I didn't love me.
The saying that you have to be happy with yourself before you are in a realtionship is SO true. How can a man bring you up daily if you are constantly bringing yourself down? How can you find someone who loves you if you can't even love yourself?
Like I said at the beginning, insecurities are lies we tell ourselves. The danger is that we believe them. And when we believe them, we allow others to believe them. Being single is the best time to stand up to them. To tell that little voice in the back of your head that you are beautiful, and that frizzy hair is really in right now, and that being short is great because no man will be shorter than you (unless they are 8 years old). It is the time of your life where you can find out so many great things about yourself. It is the time in your life where you find out how and why to love yourself.
And in the end you know what you will find. A man who loves you for you. And if he doesn't love you for you, well guess what? You will show him the door because your worth becomes so much more and you realize the love you deserve isn't going to be "just the next guy" that comes into your life. It's going to be the man of your dreams. What is sexier than a girl who loves her self, has confidence, and her own dreams? Nothing! So take this time in your life to work on you.
Realize your true beauty, discover your dreams, figure out what you want in this life, and soon enough a man will come into your life that fits perfect with you. The real you. And remember "we accept the love we think we deserve." Every girl deserves crazy, amazing, can't get enough, compliment you daily, love your frizzy hair, works hard to please you kind of love :)