March 7, 2014

Everything I Never Knew I Always Wanted


At age 27 to say my life hasn't gone according to plan may be more than a small understatement. When I think about the dreams of where I wanted to be and what I wanted to accomplish in my life by this point it is easy to stamp a big fat "fail" on the top of my story.

 I was suppose to be Miss WV 2010. I was suppose to be married to the man of my dreams. I was suppose to be on sabbatical from my dream job as a kindergarten teacher to be taking care of my 2.5 babies. I was suppose to be a long ways off from where I am now. Instead, I wasn't Miss West Virginia 2010. I have only planned my wedding on Pinterest. And, I am quitting what I thought would be my dream job, not to raise my 2.5 precious babies, but rather to go back to school….on a different continent. 

Well, life doesn't always go according to plan does it? But, I am teary eyed as I type this because my life is truly everything I never knew I always wanted.

Looking back now, I realize that in those same moments of realizing my plans have failed miserably are the very times that I found out the most about who I am. I have found out more of who I am in the heartbreak of broken dreams than I ever have in the in the victories of fulfilled ones. It's when we find out how strong, courageous, resilient, and fierce we truly are. It's is in those times we not only find ourselves, but also find our worth.

I'm not getting married any time soon and well that means that babies are even further off. Instead of having a dream job I am quitting mine all together and heading to Australia to go to Bible college. It's not where I thought I would be, but God saw all of this before I was even a thought in my parents mind. God saw the plans I had for myself and said He had one that was better. So instead of clinging on to broken plans and the "what could have beens" I am choosing to hang on to the plan God had for my life all along. I know that anything he plans will be so much greater than anything I can even imagine because my life already is.

 I can say with 100% sincerity that I am absolutely in love with my life. I love sitting in a home that I bought myself. I love that I didn't get married 5 years ago, but instead got to know myself and know who I am in Christ before I made that commitment {:This is definitely not a bash if you got married young. I just know I wasn't ready:}. I love that I know I can make it on my own. I love that I can up and move my life to another continent without disrupting anyone else's life {:well, for the most part:}. I love that God has shown me that I don't need someone or something else to be complete. I just simply need Him.

The next time life doesn't go according to plan just remember that God's ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts higher than our thoughts {:Isaiah 55:8:}. He just might be putting you on a path to "everything you never knew you always wanted."
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4 comments:

  1. That's the hard thing when things don't align with what "we want" and want God has in plan. Do we go our way or follow God? I have been in that situation and currently going through it.

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  2. God has put me on a path that even just 5 years ago I would have told you I never wanted. I thought I was going to Iowa State University to get a Biology degree and then continue there to get my DVM. Then, once I started up my own clinic, I would maybe think about settling down with someone. But no kids. Kids cried and needed way too much attention for me.

    Right now, I'm at South Dakota State, still getting a Biology degree. But only because i was already on track for it anywya and I might as well finish it out. I think I'm going to continue on in horses (Which I had never spent more than 5 minutes with before 2 years ago.) I am within 100 days of my wedding and begging my fiance to let us start talking about kids as soon as possible because I have fallen in love with chubby cheeks and learning how to comfort a crying child. I want to spend my whole future helping with horses and running a ranch.

    Oh the way things change and how they can be SO MUCH BETTER than anything we ever actually dreamed for ourselves.

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  3. It's funny how life doesn't seem to go according to plan. My husband and I have been through things we never thought we would go through. But we learned a lot about ourselves and each other.

    I think it's great you're making this big move. I have no doubt you are/will be too!
    God bless! Hugs

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xoxo

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