May 5, 2014
A Puddle of Tears
The other night I was contemplating what to do for Mama for Mother's Day. I want it to be special since it's the last one I'll spend with her for a couple of years. Then it hit me. In two short months my Mama won't be a short drive over the mountain anymore. No one will. BAM! There I am at the kitchen table, sitting with my coffee cup, a puddle of tears.
As everything gets closer, things are getting busy preparing for the big move: taking care of my visa, working out flights, packing up and selling my house, finishing my year out teaching, last time visits to see my family in Alabama before I leave, getting all the details figured out. I have been so busy getting ready for the trip I forgot that my closest friend or family member will be a 24 hour plane ride away. That's scary!
I know with 100% certainty that this is what God has called me to do and along the way of preparing to go over there He continues to just reaffirm me. So this isn't me questioning my decision to go. It's the reality of it all hitting....hard.
I am so thankful for this journey and I know that God goes before us and He is already in Sydney and has figured out every detail of my stay over there before I ever even step foot on Australian ground. I am not fearful. I am just sad, and that's okay. I actually think it's a blessing in disguise. How awesome that I get all weepy thinking about cooking my last meals in my home, spending only a few more weeks with my Gracie girl, or having only a few more girls nights left. What a blessing it is that I have a relationship with my family that makes it painful to leave them so far away.
So in fact every bit of sadness only makes me realize how blessed I am.