July 29, 2014

200 Miles from Heartbreak USA to Freedom Town


I once heard someone say "the distance from here to there is never far." Well, one thing is for sure, they must not have been talking about the road from heartbreak to freedom. When you are in Heartbreak, USA {:population one Ben and Jerry's eating, Friends marathon watching, puffy-eyed, haven't gotten out of bed in days, hot mess:} the road to Freedom Town seems endless. When you find yourself in Heartbreak USA it feels as though your best friend just gave you the boot out of the car in the middle of nowhere and you are stranded in your stilettos with a lot of baggage in tow. 

Well, know you're not alone. I have been there {:more times than I am willing to tell you at the moment:}. But since I too have been stranded in my stilettos along that nasty dirt road I thought I would share some practical ways to move on down the road to Freedom Town.

1) Drop the baggage.
Relationships that have ended give you a lot of baggage. Not only are his sweats in your drawer and his picture on your nightstand, but you have a lot of emotional baggage now that is tied to him. If you're going to travel down the road you have to loose the baggage. It's too heavy to keep carrying. Sort through what is worth keeping, but then allow yourself to move on without it.

2) Memory Lane: Warning Dead END!
Oh the slippery slop of the stroll down memory lane. One day you will be able to look back on the good times you had with this guy and smile fondly, but today is not that day. Tomorrow is also not that day, nor is the day after that. When we enter into Heartbreak, USA we only seem to be able to remember the great stuff, even though we were arguing with each other a mere 48 hours earlier. Put away the pictures that are all over your house and put away the beautiful necklace he gave you. You don't have to burn them, but you don't need those reminders to take you down Memory Lane every time you see them either. 

3) It's okay to get lost along the way. It's also okay to ask for directions.
Ever heard people say that the journey is just as fun as the destination? It's true. Though this journey from Heartbreak to Freedom may not be the most fun, I believe one day you'll look back on the road trip and realize how much you grew. With having said that, don't beat yourself up too much when you have a breakdown over your breakup three months after it happened. This stuff happens. It's emotional and it's okay not to have it together all the time. But don't try and go at it alone. Tell a girlfriend; she wants to help get you back on track. Best friends always seem to know what to say, or when to say nothing at all. Chances are, she wants you to get over that guy even more than you want to. 

4) Keep your eyes on the road.
Take time to look at the mile markers in your life. Take time to see how far you have come on this journey of heartbreak to freedom. You might surprise yourself. Take the time to look around at the opportunities you can seize now that you are alone on the road trip. Go out with your girlfriends more. Take that class on cake decorating you have dying to do, but just couldn't fit in your schedule. Do things for you; focus on you and keep going forward.

5) Stay off your phone.
We are all well aware of how dangerous it is to be on your phone while driving. It's just as emotionally important that you stay off your phone on this road trip. You don't need to see when his high school girlfriend posts on his Facebook wall 2.5 seconds after he changes his relationship status, and you don't need to see that he is out with his friends on Friday night while you are watching your 7th Nicholas Sparks movie {:are there even that many Nicholas Sparks movies?:}. You don't have to unfriend him on social media {:although it may not be a bad idea:} but you can change your settings where you don't have to have his feed pop up all the time. And you certainly don't need to be typing his name into the search bar while you are on this road trip. What good would come from this? You see that he has a post about being lonely on a Friday night too? Would that really help? Okay, it would probably totally help, but the chances of that happening are about 1 in 6.8 billion so just slow those search happy fingers down. You also don't need to text him. You will regret it. This I am sure of. If he is texting or calling you, well he had plenty of opportunity to text and call you when you were dating but his window of opportunity is O-V-E-R!

The thing about road trips are often that no two people ever travel exactly the same route. Your road trip to Freedom Town will be full of different pit stops and locals than your other friends and thats okay. This road trip is your. Road trips are long and often exhausting, but when you get to your destination and think about the journey it always makes you smile to know how far you've come and what it took to get you there.

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  1. Number 5 is a very important point!
    iPhones & other smart phones are the worst thing to have around during a break up, it's just too easy to stalk an ex. They should make an app that blocks you from doing so and reminds you why you broke up
    x tink x allabouttink.co.uk

  2. I love this post and wish I would have had it 2 years ago!! I finally made the smart decision to delete his number from my phone but I love number 2! Its so true you always remember the good things! Lol my last breakup basically ended in a fight and I never once thought of that when on memory lane. Hope your loving your new home!!

  3. Wonderful post!
    I think this applies to bad life situations, not just personal relationships.


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