March 28, 2015

The Single Girl Diaries: When Longer Equals Stronger



Happy Singleness Saturday. Okay, I made that up. But, for me Saturday just seemed to be one of those neon flashing lights that signaled I was still single. It's the day of the week where all the happy couples have not just date nights but date days and your all back at your house like "what up slipper socks and baggy sweatpants with a hole in the crotch."

It has been far too long since I have done one of these posts. My apologies. I think maybe the reason it has taken me so long to write one of these posts is because I have been in a season where I couldn't write from a place of strength. I was in a season where I felt like I was drowning in my singleness instead of thriving in it. No one needs Sister Feels Bad for Herself blubbering over your blogging shoulder telling you how awful and pitiful her life is. You don't need me to tell you that I can't even remember what a date is or that my friends are now having grandchildren and buying investment properties.

Anywho...

Our church had a women's conference {well we actually had two to be more specific} over the past two weekends where more that 14,000 women from around the world came together to sit under no other name, but the name of Jesus.

Over these two weekends I not only had the opportunity to serve these women, but also to sit in and receive from the guest speakers. Honestly, I had no idea how desperately my soul needed to be refreshed.

Between things going on back home with family and such and my "poor me" attitude towards singleness I had lost sight of my first love.

My friend posted a picture on her Facebook wall that said "She stopped loving love and fell in love with her king." This picture convicted me to the core. Had I abandon true love in pursuit of what this world says love is?

I went into the conference with this thought in my mind and a desperate cry in my heart for God to do something within me.

The words of the hymn Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus rang out in my heart:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of this earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace. 

Not only had I abandon true love for a counterfeit, I had allowed it to consume my attention. 

One of the speakers used this analogy on the final night of the conference...

What do you see in this picture?

I'm assuming that if I could hear you, you responded with "a black dot."

While this is obviously true, we fail to mention the white space surrounding the dot. While, yes, there is a dot, there is a whole lot more white space surrounding the dot.

I realized I had done this with my singleness. No one is going to refute the fact that I am single, and most people won't even argue with me that sometimes this season can be poke your eyeballs out torturing difficult. I had been consumed by and only focusing on the black dot of my singleness and neglected to see the overwhelming amount of other things in my life that are going amazingly well, the white space. 

Turn your eyes upon Jesus. I needed to shift the focus of my heart. 

After that final night of conference, I cam home to an empty house and decided to use this quiet time as an opportunity to journal and download everything I had received over the last 48 hours.

In my journaling I wrote something that I believe was heaven breathed because it is far too beautiful to come from my own heart. In my journal on the page dated March 21, 2015 I wrote in regards to my single season: "I am willing to walk this road longer, if it means that others can walk this road stronger." 

Girls, God calls some of us to walk in seasons longer so that through our walking, stumbling, and occasional passionate running, others may hear our story and faithful journey and in turn walk the same season stronger. This may not be a season of singleness for you. It may be the season of waiting for the perfect job, to get out of debt, for God to fulfill the promise he gave you, to have a baby, to get into the college of your dreams. Whatever your waiting season my prayer is that you remember that your longer, could mean someone else's stronger. 

My single sister, when the weeks are long and the nights are lonely, remember that it'll all make sense one day and God will redeem every lonely night, every tear wept, and every pint of Ben & Jerry's consumed. Your sisters need you to walk longer so they can walk stronger. And don't worry, He told me to tell you, He's with you. 

"Never will I leave you. Never will I forsake you."
Hebrews 13:5



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2 comments:

  1. Thank you Amber, just the thought I needed to hear. God, indeed will never forsake us. I'm waiting, so it means someone else's stronger. God bless you

    ReplyDelete
  2. Love this! Exactly what I needed to hear :) I appreciate you always being so open and honest!

    ReplyDelete

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