March 23, 2016

The "If...Then" Mentality - The Single Girl Diaries




You could easily be disillusioned and think someone who has a weekly blog post titled "The Single Girl Diaries" never deals with the deep pit of loneliness that can come from singleness.  I hope I have been open and honest enough with all of you that you know, I am not that girl. And in all honesty sometimes I write these post through tears, heartache, and longing - today is that day.

I will be fine {:don't worry Mama:}. I know "this too shall pass." But, for right now it is here and it is how I am feeling. So, I want to write to the girl who is feeling the same loneliness that has decided to come visit me today.

On days like today, the thoughts and doubts that accompany this season seem to flood in with all the power of a tsunami. "Jesus, all the housemates that are younger than me are enjoying this 'wanderlust' season of living in Australia and pursuing Jesus, with their man candy by their side. Then there is me, 2, 4, 7 years older than all of them...doing it all alone. Yippee - NOT" "God, will I ever get married." "I feel like I have held out hope for so long and claimed it as 'my year' over and over again, yet here I am...still the writer of The Single Girl Diaries."

Then, in allowing myself to think on these things and really wrestle with God on the issue, the devil sees his opportunity and comes in with vengeance. He starts planting those "if...then" statements in my mind and heart.

 "If you looked more like that girl, you would have been married 5 years ago."
"If you weren't so sassy, independent, and strong willed - if you were more gracefully and classy...then you would attract someone."
"If you lost 20 pounds, then he would notice you."

If, if, if - then, then, then.

Am I the only one with these thoughts? I know I am not. What I also know is that the enemy is a liar and loves to kick a girl when she's down one stiletto heel is broken. It is in these moments we have a choice. We can either give in and believe the lies or we can get up and put on our red lipstick and stilettos {:figuratively, or literally speaking - totally up to you:}

Don't let anyone tell you your feelings of loneliness and longing are not justified. They are okay, and we serve a God big enough to handle your fears and your 'what ifs'. Loneliness and longing leave you with a black pit feeling in your soul, but you can chose to fill the pit with the "if...thens" or you can choose to fill it with the Holy Spirit who is our comforter, our peace, and our helper.

Plus, do you really want a guy who likes you for your weight, or likes you better when you pretend to be something you're not? No way. Plus, wouldn't it be way more of a tragedy if you missed out on your guy because you weren't true to yourself rather than the tragedy of not getting the guy because you weren't fill in the blank  enough?


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