May 4, 2016

The Case for Dating Someone's Potential - The Single Girl Diaries

I have heard it said that you shouldn't date someone with potential. Rather, you should date someone already walking in their potential. To that statement I say yes....and no.

Yes, to the fact that you cannot date someone with the mentality that you can "fix" them. Been there, tried to do that. Failed...and only realized that I was the one who needed fixing. You don't date someone hoping and believing that they will one day be the man you would love to be married to when they are showing absolutely no signs of progression in that way.

And then to that first statement, I also say No. No because I also believe that you do partially date someone's potential. When you date, you date them for who they are now and with the idea of where they are going.

Let me explain.

When I chose to go out with a guy, I am saying yes to the guy in front of me. Sure, he has some rough edges. Sure, he has some work to do, but I can say yes to him today because I see the work he is putting in to become the man of God he and God desire for him to be tomorrow. Therefore, I am saying yes to helping draw that out of him - not by force and "you should" or "don't do that" comments, but by respecting, honoring and being his personal cheerleader.

We can't date a twenty-five year old Christian male and expect him to have the character, actions, and mindsets of the men we admire within the Body of Christ who are fifty-five. Those fifty-five year old men didn't look like themselves at twenty-five! It is a process. God is a God of process.

So while we don't date guys because we think we can fix them and we DO date date guys based on their potential. Guys who are actively pursuing their potential by being in church, surrounding themselves with the right friends, staying connected to Church and the Word, and pursing Christ more than he pursues you.

So why not, why not say yes to the guy that has untapped potential. Who knows you could be the cheerleader that shines that piece of coal until it shines like a diamond.
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